I don’t know that I’ve ever loved a song like I love this song (actually I’m sure I have, but this is the one I love right now). I’m still discovering Alex Ebert, he’s probably my all-time fave. I hope he’s making music for many more years.
I have added jonnyzombiekiller.wordpress.com to my links. It’s Jonny’s blog, oh yeah! Check it out!
I feel really vulnerable sharing this but… The other day I had a moment where each of my 4 children were doing something to make my head spin, all at the same time. I was sitting with Jonny at the school table, he was taking a math test and I was guiding him with the instructions, this was very challenging requiring all of the patience and concentration I could muster. Indy was fussing in my arms and in the next room the girls got into a quibble. June screamed like crazy and there was no sign of the inevitable calm that always takes a little too long to arrive. I snapped. I walked over to the girls not knowing what I was going to do, afraid of the intensity of my frustration. I don’t spank my kids (and even if I did, I would not have in these angry moments), but I’ve been known to throw objects here and there. I hate how much I yell, and I suppose I couldn’t think of anything to say in the moment, so I screamed like crazy. A good, long, scary scream. I didn’t stop until my lungs were empty. I shocked the girls out of their quibbling and went back to Jonny fully grounded and ready to move on. I had scared Indy and he cried a bit, but it seemed a little maybe worth it for how calm I felt afterward, okay not really. I got back all of my gentleness and patience after pushing all of the anger and frustration out of my mouth with that scream.
I loved how quickly I got calm, but immediately knew I didn’t want to ever scream like that again, unless it was maybe into a pillow, or unless someone was murdering me, but still I don’t really want to scream like that again. So, I thought, “What should I do instead that might offer me as quick of relief without the traumatizing-to-my-children factor? I asked the kids as well . . . you never know when they’re gonna give you that life-changing, kid-wisdom advice they’re so full of and the stars align and you change. Well, we didn’t come up with anything. (I’ve since read about snake-breathing, the current issue of Mothering Magazine has a good article about feelings.)
And then I got the Shalem newsletter in my e-mail box. I read an article that linked me to the Shalem website, which is such a great resource for contemplative information, motivation, and inspiration. After the article I read on the website I scrolled down to the next article which happened to be written by my favorite non-fiction author ever, Gerald May. He did a word study on the beatitudes and oh my, look what he uncovered:
“‘Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.’
“Blessed are those who pray with and for gentleness, who turn to God with their anger, who stand still in the midst of their own turbulent feelings, for they will be empowered; the energy of their feelings will join with God’s love and give them freedom in all of life.”
from Shalem Newsletter Volume 28, No. 2-Summer, 2004
What do you think? I thank God for that. The extra insight into the words gives it such dimension, offering applicable guidance as it grants the blessing. I look forward for a chance to exercise this wisdom, even if I don’t look forward to reaching my boiling point. Just thought I’d pass this along since I found such value in it : )
I know that most people don’t like a blog post with words only, so here’re a few photos from last week when we did school fireside. I share these in particular to remind myself (and inform you, j.i.c.) that most days I don’t have to deal with such turbulent feelings. So good.
We were listening to a CD with skip counting songs on it. The kids love the music so they broke out into The Skip Count Scamper!
Jonny gettin’ the 7s down.
It blows me away that Indy can sleep in the midst of the fun and noise!
I read it in A Child’s Book of Poems (illustrated by Gyo Fujikawa, so great!!) awhile back and it feels like today.
It’s by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
THE DAY IS DONE
The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of Night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight
I see the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o’er me
That my soul cannot resist:
A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain.
Come, read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling,
And banish the thoughts of the day.
Not from the grand old masters,
Not from the bards sublime,
Whose distant footsteps echo
Through the corridors of Time.
For, like strains of martial music,
Their mighty thoughts suggest
Life’s endless toil and endeavor;
And tonight I long for rest.
Read from some humbler poet,
Whose songs gushed from his heart,
As showers from the clouds of summer,
Or tears from the eyelids start;
Who, through long days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
Still heard in his soul the music
Of wonderful melodies.
Such songs have power to quiet
The restless pulse of care,
And come like a benediction
That follows after prayer.
Then read from the treasured volume
The poem of thy choice,
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
The beauty of thy voice.
And the night shall be filled with music,
And the cares that infest the day,
Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.
Do you like Sylvia Plath? I like Sylvia Plath. I enjoyed Gwyneth Paltrow’s portrayal of her a great deal in Sylvia. After I saw that, I checked out some audio tapes of Sylvia Plath reading her own poetry from my library. I enjoyed those a lot, too. Then came The Collected Poems. Initially, I had a harder time trying to read her poetry myself, but I’m getting more into it now, I think. Then came The Bell Jar. I loved The Bell Jar. The edition I have has some biographical information in the back that piqued my interest beyond what the book alone had. So, to get yet more of Sylvia Plath into my brain I ordered Letters Home, which is a collection of Sylvia’s own letters to her family from 1950-1963 (over 600 letters! A true writer), compiled and annotated by her mother. I am reading that now. There was a particular part I just read the other night that was so confirming to my own heart’s conviction, I wanted to post it here.
This is what Aurelia Schober Plath wrote in 1975 in the introduction to Letters Home. Sylvia Plath, Aurelia’s first child, was born in 1932. Otto Plath was her husband and Sylvia’s father.
“Otto and I wanted to start our family as soon as possible, he hoping our first child would be a daughter. “Little girls are usually more affectionate,” he said. As soon as I was certain I was pregnant, I began reading books relating to the rearing of children. I was totally imbued with the desire to be a good wife and mother. At mealtimes we discussed the varying, and often conflicting, theories of child rearing. Had I been inclined to rigidity in the early training of my children, my husband, who believed in the natural unfolding of an infant’s development, would have strongly opposed me. He constantly voiced his recollections of his mother’s type of child care (he was the oldest of six children). I quietly followed the “demand feeding” accepted as modern today and labeled old-fashioned in the 1930′s, though I would never confess to it in front of my contemporaries, who conscientiously followed the typed instructions of their children’s pediatricians. Both my babies were rocked, cuddled, sung to, recited to and picked up when they cried.”
I think that’s lovely. And I have nothing to add. Yes, I do! But I’m not gonna.
Even after having this blog for over a year and a half, I still don’t know what the heck I’m doing with it. Is it a parenting blog? A homeschooling blog? A nature blog? A family diary for future generations of Stankovitses? It seems to be not a very good blog of any particular sort and I’ve often thought about doing away with it altogether. But it isn’t hurting me or bugging me so it has abided.
I have enjoyed getting my thoughts on homeschooling out here periodically so this next piece of writing is me trying to formulate my current views/plans for the next school year.
I have always been drawn to the idea of unschooling, that the parent/child learning team forego conventional ideas of “school” and even “education” altogether in favor of life learning, or maybe just life living! In my mind there’s a tree with the interests and passions as the trunk, which lead into the conventional reading, writing, arithmetic lessons in the branches and leaves, off-shoots of the good stuff, becoming super important as they (gather sunlight) facilitate and nourish the learning of the trunk subjects. But I always thought that holding to an educational philosophy such as unschooling meant that you must abandon structure, discipline and organization. I’ve looked for information to disprove my objections, since the learning tree lures me so. John Holt’s and David Albert’s writings have now carried me to a place where my objections are no longer of concern. It seems that structure and discipline, in the form of the parents’ continued attention to the child and diligence in seeking out more and more materials, resources and information, and definitely organization to boot, are the roots of the tree. I believe that the child will establish discipline on their own, too, though I’m not prepared to write about that.
Here is a quote from John Holt, taken from his book Learning All the Time.
“We can best help children learn, not by deciding what we think they should learn and thinking of ingenious ways to teach it to them, but by making accessible to them, paying serious attention to what they do, answering their questions – if they have any – and helping them explore the things they are most interested in.” I have come to agree with that, by watching Jonny’s experience with school. He absorbs math fast, but hates the amount of busy work the curriculum requests. Even after I tailor it down significantly, it exasperates any interest he came to the concept with. How awful is that? Here’s a kid that can barely sit still for any amount of time, he’s good at math, interested in numbers and time, but the work I give him involving these very subjects, repels him from them! That is the opposite of what I hope education is and will be in this house.
So, my way of getting started on unschooling is to observe Jonny and decipher what it is that he is passionate about. The kid loves and I mean LOVES the video game Call of Duty. I should mention that I was so very opposed, at first, but couldn’t take it away because Jonny and Sid had such great times together, bonding over it. Jonny is really, really good at it too. When he plays live with other players, his team mates and opponents think he must be Sid because he’s so good! He loves the guns, loves the fighting and is 100% aware that it is just a game. In fact, when I get bothered by the violence, he reminds me, “Mom, it’s just a game.” He knows he doesn’t want to be in a real war. So, what can I extract and elaborate on so that Call of Duty can serve as a gateway to knowledge for Jonny? Well, on our Netflix xBox instant queue we got a show from the Military Channel called Future Weapons, hosted by an ex-Navy Seal. Sid and I love that show! So we watch it together with Jonny. During last night’s viewing, Jonny was suddenly overcome by the best idea ever! A Nerf tank!! And a Nerf missile launcher! Then I followed with adding a Nerf Cornershot to the idea list after the weapon and it’s Israeli creator were featured on the show. So Sid is going to draw up the ideas, at Jonny’s direction, and we’ll send them to Nerf. We’ve also checked out various books about military weapons from the library. Super cool. I love that I get to learn about this stuff too!
Thus begins our journey into the gloriously colorful, sparkling and unpredictable, yet satisfying, world of unschooling, for lack of a better term, or maybe my title here is a better term, interest-driven education? (I bet if I google it, it already exists and has an excessively detailed description which I am not prepared to advocate!) We will not abandon math lessons, next year we’ll try out the Math on the Level curriculum. Also, we’ll continue to be loosely guided by curriculum for the other core subjects, but with flexibility. And that’s where we’re at with that.
Check out this great article . . . Thanks Jeanine!
Babies Know: A Little Dirt is Good for You
The latest scientific findings support that we were created to live on the earth, intimately connected with nature. It used to be that the more we’d find out, the more we’d have to worry about. But now it looks like much more balance is emerging. To me, that declares God’s love and tender care for us, that he created us out of love, and created us to live on this most glorious, beautiful, dangerous, challenging and serene planet. Things that we find out through the latest scientific research, like dirt being good for babies’ immune systems, speak of God’s motherliness. I know that my joy in watching my kids get into the mud, into the dirt, into the land, and my joining in with them, is an experience created by God, for me, in the image of His own joy. And I now know (though I’ve always known, intuitively) that there is very little risk in allowing them to follow their instincts outside! This brings me such peace, such a sense of the freedom that God wants me to have all the time. I want to live in it! Never leave that peace and freedom! To me, these are the features of a life, closer to the land. Trusting the wisdom of the generations that were here before me, learning the skills to survive with little and making the most of abundance. This is what I would be seeking in living a homestead life. The older I get the stronger the urge and the more intense the longing. I feel like that would be where real life, with God, would begin. More quiet, at times in need and struggling, praying in new ways, living with big questions, no answers and seeing God everywhere, outdoors, in my longing, in the faces of my family, in my cold and in my warmth. But who the heck willingly seeks out a higher level of adversity in their life? I know it would be worth it, in my depths, but society’s voice is a loud force in my brain, one that exerts much more influence over me than I would like to admit. And if I’m honest, I do not have the strength nor the will to pull and persuade a strong man and three children to join me in that adversity. Or do I?
