Baby #5

Okay, so holy moly, I’m pregnant!  I’m 13 weeks along and after hearing the heartbeat yesterday, I finally feel like it’s totally real.  We waited much longer than we usually do to tell people, partly because we were so stunned by the news ourselves, partly because I was overwhelmed by the news and partly because of my previous miscarriage (2002/2003) in which I had no idea it was a no-go until I was 16 weeks along.

Jonny, Aveline and I went to see my wonderful midwife, Susan Gill yesterday for my first prenatal appointment.  It feels like home there with her.  Aveline told me later that I seemed different while we were in there, that I seemed kinda jumpy and excited, funny!  I told her that doesn’t surprise me because I’m always excited to talk to Sue.

Jonny at Sue's

Jonny at Sue’s

Ave's selfie at Sue's

Ave’s selfie at Sue’s

I love the photos she took!

I love the photos she took!

Talkin' to Sue (my facial expressions in the photos of me looking more animated were un-postable, heh heh

Talkin’ to Sue (my facial expressions in the photos of me looking more animated were un-postable, heh heh

Getting my blood drawn

Getting my blood drawn

If you were a reader in the past, you might remember that I kept a fourth child journal, all about my desire to have a fourth child, and then my eventual pregnancy with, and birth of, my fourth child.  I wanted him so bad, but I struggled with that desire.  I struggled with it because I’m a very content person and somehow I (or possibly others) convinced myself that I was selfish to want another.  I really anguished over that decision and I attributed way too much importance to the “advice” and input of others.  Now, when Sid and I look at Indy (our fourth) we can’t help but say that the people that discouraged us from having another child were, well, idiots, (sorry) because he literally is the best thing that happened, not just to Sid and I, but to our three older children, as well.  We love him infinitely more than we had imagined, and we had imagined loving him infinitely, so let’s see the equation for that!

This time, with this pregnancy being an “oops” – no wait, oops is the wrong expression, “oh crap”?  “oh wow”?  Ha ha, well it was all of those at some point!  But with all said and done, we now feel mostly like “Thank you, Lord.”  I guess, I’ll just put it this way, with this pregnancy being unexpected, I feel so blessed to get to be pregnant without having to do all that anguishing!  And I literally do not care if anyone thinks that this pregnancy is less than wonderful, because I am convinced it was meant to be and I am so, so excited.  It is a great source of joy to me, like when you were a kid and you got that amazing toy for Christmas and then the next morning you forget why your so happy and then the toy comes back to mind …  Every time baby #5 comes to mind I get giddy, peaceful and full of joy all at the same time.

-I want to add a special note.  Sue and I decided to listen to the heartbeat with the doppler ONLY because I had concerns due to my previous miscarriage.  She wanted to alleviate any anxiety, and the sound of that sweet beating did.  But, before you get a 2nd ultrasound and for sure before you buy an at-home fetal doppler, please look into the risks.  She would only put it on me for a quick minute and even recommended that, if she couldn’t find the heart beat fast, I get a full ultrasound rather than keep the doppler on my abdomen for too long (lucky for me she found it fast).  She knows her stuff, please look into it, it’s something conventional practitioners don’t mention.

About Jennifer

Hi! My name is Jennifer. I am 38 years old and I have been married for 19 years. My husband Sid and I have five children, all born at home. I'm so glad you've decided to check out my website. In case you want a synopsis of why the heck I started this thing I'll just sum it up for ya here . . . My life was transformed by the births of my children. The days my babies were born were the best days of my life. I want to open up a dialogue about birth that helps us to view it truthfully. I think we will have no choice but to conclude that God blesses us and transforms us through our births no matter what they look like from the outside (hospital, home, c-section, epidural, natural). Now go on, poke around and be sure to check back with me as I will consistently be writing and adding inspirational articles.
This entry was posted in Baby #5 :-), mothering, my children, my thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Baby #5

  1. Jessica says:

    Congratulations, Jenn!! I am so happy for you and your family. :-)

  2. Didi says:

    I thought I was so, “last one to know”, but then I saw that you just posted this yesterday. It, actually, brought tears of joy. I don’t know why. Because I love you? Because I know your family? I think it is because your writing is so honest and so detailed that (even though I DO know you) a reader can feel like they know you and know EXACTLY what feeling you’re talking about, giving them the possibility to experience empathy. And, who wouldn’t want to feel the joy you’re describing? What will be the neatest thing is the rad name you come up with. I mean, you’re 4/4. Anyway, I said it already, but Congratulations, Jennifer!

  3. Jennifer says:

    Thank you, Jessica! I had so much fun poking around your blog the other day, I can’t wait to go back and spend some time there =)

  4. Jennifer says:

    Thanks Didi! You’re too kind!

  5. rockobean says:

    Super excited to see who the next little cute person will be! Thanks for sharing! xoxoxxo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>