bless my birth

We had an eventful weekend, here are the details of an interesting happening that occurred on Saturday.  For those of you who aren’t acquainted with my family, Sid is my husband, Jonny is our 7 year-old son, Aveline is our 4 1/2 year-old daughter and June is our almost 18 month-old daughter.  Oh yeah, and I have a phobia of hospital interiors.  

It was late morning and I was making coffee and pulling an apple and pear cobbler type thing out of the oven to cool.  Sid was in and out of the house doing yard work and such.  We both happened to be in the kitchen when we heard a thud in the living room.  I started in there before the crying even began and found June had overturned my rocking chair.  She had been standing up on it rocking and it fell all the way back. She had been holding on to the head rest while rocking and when the chair hit the floor her left hand’s index and middle fingertips were smashed between the head rest and the floor.  All I saw was a ton of blood and I was worried it was coming from her head or face, I immediately screamed to Sid in my panic voice and he rushed to us, grabbed her and ran her to the kitchen to rinse her hand in the sink to better view and assess the damage.  All he said was, “We’re going to the hospital.”  Then he returned to the bloody mess, I stood behind him and asked trepidaciously, “Is there something missing that we’re supposed to be looking for?”  He looked toward me and said, “Her fingertips . . . Oh . . . there they are.”  And he reached passed me to scrape them off of the back of the rocker!?!?!  

All of us, including Jonny and Aveline were totally panicked.  Sid went white, Jonny ran down into the orchard and wouldn’t answer when we called for him.  He told me later that he freaked out and ran down there telling himself, “I can’t live here anymore, I’m gonna have to go live in the wild.”  That’s exactly what I think I want to do when something that scary happens, actually.  Aveline was buckled into her carseat as we were rounding up Jonny and she kept declaring loudly, “I hate my life!  I hate my life!”  It was chaos!  We were barely hanging on.  On the way to the E.R., I held June on my lap in the passenger seat, with a towel and ice wrapped over her fingers.  I was panicking and queasy, I told Sid I didn’t think I as okay, he reminded me to pray.  I breathed as I prayed the Jesus prayer and peace washed over me.  Soon I was freaked out again, but much better off than before.  Jesus is so faithful.

At the hospital, I waited outside in the sunshine, Santa Ana winds and wildfire smoke with Jonny and Aveline and Sid took Junie in.  We were praying and talking and Jonny kept saying, “Let’s not talk about June anymore, it gives me the wiener chills and butterflies in my stomach.”  Ha ha!  I love it!  He kept trying to talk about Ben 10 or something to change the subject and Aveline kept saying that we needed to talk about June only.  I kept going silent and then coming back with a, “Huh?” whenever I was asked a question.  Surprisingly, Uncle Ryan arrived at the hospital!  Sid had called his mom and told her what happened, but she thought he said that Jenn’s fingers were cut off, so Aunt Hannah and the cousins had been crying, praying for me!  Funny. I swear I felt it!  Jonny and Aveline liked the idea of getting to go home with Uncle Ryan to play with their cousins.  Soon after they left, Sid’s mom arrived.  She went in to June’s exam room and then came to give me the update.  The news was that when a child is that little, it’s very likely that the fingers will grow back very well on their own, and the nails, too and there’s a good chance that in five years you’ll never be able to tell it happened!!  That was such good news, no stitches and a great prognosis!  So they cleaned her wounds and bandaged them.  Sid told me that June had gone in and out of sleeping and was very calm, sweet and smart in the exam room.  Barbara and I went in at the very end when the paperwork was taking way too long.  They were just finishing up and as we walked out all the guy nurses were waving saying, “Bye, June!”  I thought of how much they must have enjoyed treating her, just as I do, daily . . . hourly, maybe, and it is my joy.

I cannot describe how wonderful it was to come home with my recovering baby and just chill and snuggle.  The treat I had baked was here waiting for us and we enjoyed it together.   

So, she has the cutest little bandaged hand now.  When people ask what happened I tell them that she had some information the mafia wanted and she wouldn’t talk!  She hasn’t complained of pain, except when Sid changed the dressing yesterday.  Even then, she’d just pull her thumb out of her mouth and say, “Ooowww,” with the sweetest little frown you’ve ever seen.  Then she’d get her thumb going again and bury her face, eyes closed into Sid’s shoulder.  She treats her left hand like normal, using it to eat and play and pull herself up.

Sid and I have been renewed in our energy toward our children and our daily, monstrous workloads.  We’re a little more comfortable with letting things slide a little, having been reminded of what’s really important.  Sid even joked about us having two more kids, yesterday!  That is so not like him, and I’m sure he’s still sure that that’s not what we want, unless he wins the lottery.  He doesn’t want to have to work so much if we’re going to keep growing our family.  I don’t blame him, I’m the lucky one, getting to be with them all the time.  Seems like it will be a little easier talking him into one more baby, when June’s 4, though, yay!

Should I address my decision to stay outside of the hospital as my little nursling suffered inside?  Sure.  I thought that I could really lose it in there and Sid rules in medical settings, literally, he keeps the personnel on their toes with his extensive knowledge and intuitive understanding of microbiology, the skin, healing, drug treatments, etc.  I slip into my compliant mode in medical settings, due to the unusual amount of stress I’m under in doing the incredible mental work it takes for me to be able to cope with just being there.  Also, Sid is always looking for ways to strengthen his bond with June, this was a fine opportunity for him to do that.  After Jonny and Aveline left, I did go through and intense time in the ring, true me vs. false me, with false me beating true me using uppercuts such as “bad mom” and left hooks like “wuss” and “how could you?”  Then a magical thing happened, true me came back with a vengeance and knocked out false me with the most powerful punch . . . grace.  I let myself off the hook.  False me was defeated and hasn’t been around much since then!  Praise God!  I know that the future holds more time that I’ll have to spend inside a hospital and that things far more traumatic than Saturday’s are bound to occur, but I also know Jesus will be faithful then as He was Saturday and I think that I’ll be strong enough to do what I need to do for myself or my loved one in that situation.

Thanks for reading!