I’m a fan of letters, letterwriting and letter receiving. My friend, Salina wrote me the following letter after reading my daddy’s Reflexions. She permitted me to share her letter here, it has such an encouraging, enlightened message, I think. I was touched by it. Thank you, Salina.
Jennifer,
Wow, your dad has such wisdom and insight that is so helpful to me. After reading your dad’s insights, some of my own wrestling came to better understanding. Here are my thoughts after reading the Reflections from your dad Number 93 “The Better to See You WIth” and “The Outsiders”.
After hours of pouring my heart out, discussing my pain, my thoughts, my hopes, my fears with someone I hardly knew, I received the greatest compliment of my life. The simple words
“I THINK THAT YOU ARE GREAT!”. Who me? The introverted, eccentric, intense and complicated woman, I thought with a huge smile that filled me with a glow that lasted for weeks. Years of feeling my false self slipped away to feeling beautiful, alive and rejuvenated. How is it so easy and simple? Someone listened, understood, and choose to accept my beauty.
Another moment of profound beauty comes to mind. A stranger comes up to be at the park in the midst of many people and she says “I am going to give you a hug, because you need it; I don’t know why, but I know you need it”. My heart slows down and a new breath emerges. And I think “I do need it”. She knew something I did not even see myself.
Sometimes the lack of being understood seems to make us reach for complexity, to become angry, to become negative and to loose faith and thus selfishness, justice and narcissism seem to prevail. In that state we stay negative, addicted, stressed and angry. Once loved, appreciated, and truly understood, life feels easier and things seem less complicated. It is amazing what a simple “I’m sorry”, “Thank you”, “I Appreciate You” or “I think you are great” can do to a person’s soul. One autistic man at a party can make 20 people smile by merely asking their name, showing interest in their special dates, and saying “I Love You”. How do the rest of us miss this simplicity?
Some of the most beautiful people I have met have such a rough exterior and are so misunderstood but are able to give much understanding and love with little to no effort. Religious people often lack of understanding or empathy for pain. Are we afraid if we embrace it, it will be our pain? Sometimes true understanding and wisdom comes from experiencing the “Thorn in the Side” or as the Black Crowes put it “Thorn in my Pride”. Sometimes wounded souls meet and without much effort; They Understand. In most other’s circumstances it takes years or a lifetime of growing, learning to listen, speaking our mind and maybe some understanding will come. What clouds the purity to understand another? Social cues? Perceptions of how we think we “should” act? Fear of rejection?
As Chuck states in his insights, the Gentile woman is described as having faith. She does not have fear of the people around her. She love’s the Lord and has faith that He will hear her. The prostitute Mary is not interested in social cues. She weeps with emotion at Jesus’ feet because she is so in love with Him that she can’t help but, honor and love Him in front of everyone. As Chuck states, the men close to Jesus appear to have little faith. Their perceptions of how they “should” serve the Lord clouds them from understanding of how to show love, humility and loyalty. Mary’s simple heartfelt actions of weeping and washing Jesus’s feet makes a huge statement to the Lord and everyone around her. But, before she showed Him her love, He loved her. And, would not accept her false self, but rather her beautiful, innocent, and simply compassionate heart.
As I am inspired by the thoughtful writing of Chuck Smith Jr., I think, If only I could see what the Lord sees; If only I could have faith in the Lord, myself and others; If only I could see my true self through God’s eyes. Then, maybe I would truly understand how to be a woman of much “faith” and “love”, and the Lord would smile because my true self that He has always seen, would be unveiled. And the Lord may say “Salina, you got it”! Then maybe I could learn to be interested in other’s names and special dates; Then maybe I could put more effort in saying “I’m Sorry”; “Thank You”; “I Appreciate You”; “I Love You” and maybe I could give a stranger a hug because I feel “They just need it”.
4 Comments
I don’t remember where I got the idea, probably from Gerald May, most of my recent good ideas have come from his books! The idea is that when we feel love from others, the ones who do understand or “get” us, that love that we feel and appreciation for ourselves that we acquire, even if it’s just a little, we can receive into our hearts as a fragment of our true beauty, part of the dazzling sparkle that God sees when He experiences us, that He created us to be thoroughly and always. I think we have days when we can operate from this place, even if our beauty is only theoretical to us, and there are days when the theory doesn’t seem to hold any water and we hurt others or become depressed. When we can feel our true beauty (it is a faith thing I think) and we are operating in the knowledge of our self-worth, that is when we are free to truly love others. And the more we live there, the more permanently our own self-worth occurs to us. I think some people are automatically unfettered by debilitating self-consciousness and they are the Mia Farrows and the Audrey Hepburns, their daily work and bigger projects take importance over their self-perception and they work to make the world a better place (I could be wrong about the secret of these women’s endeavors, accomplishments and beauty). I want to be there! It is work, I hope I’m at least on the path, no matter how many miles I have to travel to make any progress. Salina, I see you are on that path, you are taking on new beauty all the time (I hope it’s obvious that it isn’t outward, although it is outwardly radiant, does that make sense?) I’m so grateful for your sharing of your heart here and throughout our friendship!
Salina did an awesome job at articulating herself. Please tell her hi for me and let her know that I really enjoyed and took in what she had to say.
Thanks so much for sharing Salina’s letter. What beautiful insight! I’ve read it several times now, and each time God teaches me something new through it. Maybe not something new, but He makes the trueness go deeper. Just love the beautiful simplicity of His wisdom… and love this girl for her awareness of others and her ability to articulate the things God reveals to her so splendidly.
Whoops, last comment from Marcie. :)