I’ve been an avid Mothering subscriber since my first pregnancy in 2001. Included in their weekly e-mail newsletter was a link to a survey put out by Robin Elise Weiss about cesareans, there were questions she asked that I was dying to answer, so I submitted one. Here it is . . .1. Please give me your full name, how you want to be identified (fullname, first name only, anon, etc.), your general location, number ofchildren, number of cesareans, number of VBACs, anything elsepertinent to your story.Jennifer Kay Stankovits, full name is fine. Santa Ana, California.Three children, zero cesareans, three homebirths!!!2. Did (do) you ever believe that you might have a cesarean? When didyou first think that a cesarean was a possibility for your birth?I knew that a cesarean is always a possibility in an emergencysituation, but since I went to a midwife right away with my firstpregnancy, staying low risk was of the highest priority. My midwifeoffered many resources and plenty of information to help me do that.I felt confident going into labor that I would not end up with acesarean unless my life or the life of my baby was at risk. With mysubsequent pregnancies, I felt more and more assured that I would nothave to have a cesarean.3. When did your practitioner bring up a discussion about cesarean?Before labor? During labor? Was it a surprise?My midwife did not bring up the discussion about cesarean, if I hadquestions about it, she had answers, but she was always confident thatI would give birth naturally, at home as I intended. If I did need tobe transported to the hospital during my labor, she assured me that itwould only happen if absolutely necessary and that she would be by myside for as long as I wanted her there.4. If you had a cesarean, do you think you could have done anything toprevent it?N/A5. If you had a cesarean, did you or your baby experiencecomplications? If yes, which ones and how did you feel about this?N/A6. If you had one good piece of advice for pregnant women or womenconsidering having a baby, what would it be when it comes to cesareanprevention?Go to a midwife so that you can attempt to give birth outside of thehospital and stay low risk. If you can’t go to a midwife for yourprenatal care, learn how to stay low risk, educate yourself aboutlabor so that the hospital staff can’t use any ignorance-based fearyou might experience to convince you that you need unnecessaryintervention.7. What is one sure way to have a cesarean?I hate to generalize, but I’ve heard the scenario all too often. Ifyou’re only five centimeters dilated at 7 am when your OB is scheduledto be on the green by 9 am.8. Did you try to prevent a cesarean? If so, how? (Did you switchdoctors or midwives? Did you pay out of pocket for a homebirth? Didyou stay home longer than you normally would have? Hire a doula? Stufflike that…)I did pay out of pocket to have a midwife and a homebirth, not only toprevent cesarean, but for my comfort and the health and peacefulness Icould offer to my babies for their introduction to me and the outsideworld. I also took my prenatal vitamins, chose a diet that helped meto stay low risk and read books on childbirth and took Bradleyclasses.9. Advice for pregnant women in talking to those offering birth horror stories?Educate yourself! Then when someone offers a horror story you cantake the opportunity to politely and compassionately educate thatperson. Maybe the horror story was their own and they still sufferover it, maybe they are truly concerned for your safety, offer theminformation that inspires them to educate themselves!10. Where did you get a positive view of birth? Where should others turn?1. My mother gave birth to five babies, naturally in the hospital.That includes twins! She never let me feel afraid of giving birth. Iam lucky enough to suffer from anxiety, the hospital is a majortrigger for me. This fear caused me to seek to give birth out of thehospital. 2. I found a local midwife and she and her staff were themain source of my positive view of birth for my first child. 3. Mypositive, and even enjoyable experiences in giving birth to mychildren, comfortably at home has given me more than a positive viewof childbirth. I now hold an inspired view of childbirth.I think others should turn to me! Ha ha, and other women they knowthat have a positive view of childbirth, even if they encounteredcomplications. And they should turn to www.blessmybirth.com, mywebsite, it’s still under construction, but I will be posting alltypes of inspiration to help women to form a positive attitude towardbirth that will facilitate their having an awesome, transforming,blessed birthing experience.11. If you have had a VBAC, what resistance did you have? (If any.)N/A12. What is the hardest part of having a VBAC?N/A13. What was pregnancy like for you? What advice do you have ingeneral for pregnant women? Feel free to add stories or quotes here.I LOVE being pregnant. That doesn’t mean I love feeling fatigued, orthat I love heartburn. But I absolutely love holding, nurturing,sustaining a tiny, pure, perfect life inside of my body. It’s suchmagic! There are still so many mysteries surrounding pregnancy andthe mind of the fetus, I love the wonder of it all. I feel sobeautiful when I’m pregnant, and I think the most beautiful I’ve everbeen was when I was deeply enthralled in my work of laboring to givebirth to my babies.My advice for pregnant women is . . . Dare to imagine your dreambirth, expect to work harder than you’ve ever had to, physically andemotionally in order to give birth to that child, but work toward thedream you have of how you want to introduce that perfect little beinginto this world. He or she is relying on you to make good choices forhim or her. Educate yourself so that you can offer yourself and yourbaby the safest and happiest possible birth. And don’t forget toenjoy the perfection of the pair you are currently a part of! Thosemoments are too fleeting, savor them.14. Anything else you’d like to add?It is my dream, my most heartfelt desire, that all women attain anunderstanding of childbirth that allows them to experience the love,the beauty, the transformation and the joy that accompanies the work,the intensity and the agony that is inherent in the event, regardlessof the complications they encounter in the process. I hope that weall can learn to appreciate the difficulty of the experience of givingbirth, because the self-sacrifice we give during birth seems to beessential to crossing the threshold into bonded, attached mothering.Hi Robin, I hope it’s obvious that I am passionate about helping womento form a positive attitude toward giving birth. If there’s anythingelse I can write, anything here you’d like me to develop more orelaborate on, just let me know. I’ve attached my birth story, just incase you’re interested for whatever reason. Good luck with yourmission!–Jennifer K. Stankovitswww.blessmybirth.com