bless my birth

Sweet grace

Posted on January 11, 2013 by Jennifer

I wanted to share a story from early, early in this pregnancy, before I even knew I had conceived.

Some weeks before, I had met a wonderful friend named Angela at my homeschool meeting. Usually, I’m shy there and eager to get home, but one particular time, I brought Indy, a tricky situation. We inevitably ended up outside in the hall where Indy met Abby, Angela’s then almost 2 daughter. They were so cute taking turns saying, “Abby!” It totally reminded me of Eva and Wall-E.

It turned out that Angela’s older daughter was enrolled in the same weekly P.E. class program we were, so Angela and I got to visit a little every week for the following eight weeks.

Well, at the second to last P.E. class, Angela had brought a copy of the publication Above Rubies to give to me, since someone had given it to her, but she already had the same issue from her own subscription. If you are not familiar with Above Rubies, it is a usually quarterly, donation-based, ministry magazine, free to everyone. Their sort of tagline, taken from their website is, “Encouraging women in their high calling as wives, mothers and homemakers.”

So, I brought the magazine home and later that evening read it cover to cover (just about). Most of the families featured in the articles had at least 4 children, but the majority had many more. It was interesting to hear the stories of these women’s journeys to coming to want, and pursue, having large families. I was left feeling that to have more babies would be wonderful and simply, not that big of a deal (as I have become used to people being critical of families with more than 2 or 3 children). Not only that, but also I felt supported in the great sacrifice I have personally made for my children. All of that, on top of my, always present, underlying, extreme adoration of my own children, I felt sorta like having another baby. Weird – I literally asked the Lord, “Did you have Angela give me this magazine as a way of preparing me to find out I’m pregnant?” I wondered in the quiet moments all weekend long …

… And then a pregnancy test on Monday confirmed God’s sweet grace for this mama.

Posted in Baby #5 :-), contemplative mothering, my thoughts | 3 Comments

Baby #5

Posted on January 9, 2013 by Jennifer

Okay, so holy moly, I’m pregnant! I’m 13 weeks along and after hearing the heartbeat yesterday, I finally feel like it’s totally real. We waited much longer than we usually do to tell people, partly because we were so stunned by the news ourselves, partly because I was overwhelmed by the news and partly because of my previous miscarriage (2002/2003) in which I had no idea it was a no-go until I was 16 weeks along.

Jonny, Aveline and I went to see my wonderful midwife, Susan Gill yesterday for my first prenatal appointment. It feels like home there with her. Aveline told me later that I seemed different while we were in there, that I seemed kinda jumpy and excited, funny! I told her that doesn’t surprise me because I’m always excited to talk to Sue.

Jonny at Sue’s

Ave’s selfie at Sue’s

I love the photos she took!

Talkin’ to Sue (my facial expressions in the photos of me looking more animated were un-postable, heh heh

Getting my blood drawn

If you were a reader in the past, you might remember that I kept a fourth child journal, all about my desire to have a fourth child, and then my eventual pregnancy with, and birth of, my fourth child. I wanted him so bad, but I struggled with that desire. I struggled with it because I’m a very content person and somehow I (or possibly others) convinced myself that I was selfish to want another. I really anguished over that decision and I attributed way too much importance to the “advice” and input of others. Now, when Sid and I look at Indy (our fourth) we can’t help but say that the people that discouraged us from having another child were, well, idiots, (sorry) because he literally is the best thing that happened, not just to Sid and I, but to our three older children, as well. We love him infinitely more than we had imagined, and we had imagined loving him infinitely, so let’s see the equation for that!

This time, with this pregnancy being an “oops” – no wait, oops is the wrong expression, “oh crap”? “oh wow”? Ha ha, well it was all of those at some point! But with all said and done, we now feel mostly like “Thank you, Lord.” I guess, I’ll just put it this way, with this pregnancy being unexpected, I feel so blessed to get to be pregnant without having to do all that anguishing! And I literally do not care if anyone thinks that this pregnancy is less than wonderful, because I am convinced it was meant to be and I am so, so excited. It is a great source of joy to me, like when you were a kid and you got that amazing toy for Christmas and then the next morning you forget why your so happy and then the toy comes back to mind … Every time baby #5 comes to mind I get giddy, peaceful and full of joy all at the same time.

-I want to add a special note. Sue and I decided to listen to the heartbeat with the doppler ONLY because I had concerns due to my previous miscarriage. She wanted to alleviate any anxiety, and the sound of that sweet beating did. But, before you get a 2nd ultrasound and for sure before you buy an at-home fetal doppler, please look into the risks. She would only put it on me for a quick minute and even recommended that, if she couldn’t find the heart beat fast, I get a full ultrasound rather than keep the doppler on my abdomen for too long (lucky for me she found it fast). She knows her stuff, please look into it, it’s something conventional practitioners don’t mention.

Posted in Baby #5 :-), mothering, my children, my thoughts | 5 Comments

Good Way Handworks

Posted on January 5, 2013 by Jennifer

So, I started an etsy shop. It’s called Good Way Handworks. Here is a peek at what you’ll find there:

One of my sweet little Cottontail Cushions

Here’s the back with a little pocket for any small item that needs special keeping

I enjoyed making these cushions very, very much :-)

As for the name of my shop, Good Way comes from Jeremiah 6:16,

“This is what the Lord says:

“Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls.”

And I did leave off the very end because I wanted to focus on the command God was giving, rather than the errant human response, heh heh, taking liberties, I suppose.

So there, I’m back!

Posted in I made something | Leave a comment